Back to December

It was our New Moon movie night on Thursday. We had some Mexican food and wine; me and Miri laughed a lot and Emily was totally appalled by the notion that we thought Bella should have some rebound sex with Jacob. And she snorted when Miri said: “That's just too hasty.... you really shouldn't think about killing yourself before you've seen her tombstone”.

Em was whimpering over shirtless Robert Pattinson. She'll go bazuk for Bel Ami then. Opening scene in the script reads: GEORGES DUROY, 30, handsome, and, on this sweltering night, naked... And for the less informed: Duroy is played by Mr. Pattinson.


Second movie looked a lot better compared to the first one, it wasn't as funny, but Anna Kendrick nailed it once again. They obviously had a bigger budget for special effects and CGI but not for the hair and make up. Although Edward looked much better in this one but nowhere near to 17 of course. If there ever was a 17-year old guy who went to see Twilight movie with his girlfriend, he walked out with major inferiority complex. Edward looks thirty, he's a man with an ongoing five o'clock shadow and the hair on his chest, moaning while kissing a high school girl.
All in all the movie was a bit too dark and angsty for my taste. I bet, back in the days when I was feeling the way this movie looked I would have loved it. I totally get that whole teenage angst shit this series is riding on.

So Edward splits to make a movie called Remember Me and Bella was left with Jacob who had blown up real nice but still had a crappy wig until they decided to take it off and he looked kinda hot, all wet and angry. And the whole movie was about Bella sending Jacob mixed signals and teasing him (but hey, it is a sexual frustration franchise after all) until at the very end she went back to Edward leaving Jacob with broken heart and blue balls.
When I watched Taylor Lautner getting pushed around by Bella, Taylor Swift's Back to December was playing in my head. Yeah, cause Jacob is the kinda guy you don't appreciate until you're fifty, then you wish you would have picked him over those troubled sexy dudes. He might be less imaginative in bed, but he's good to you, loves you and holds you when you get burned, comforts you, brings you ice cream and makes you laugh, fixes you up and then you get bored by the security and comfort and you dump him for this skinny tortured guy who covers you with burning kisses in the alleyway and eye-fucks you in public. And all that Jacob gets is a lame performance at the CMAs stage made up to look like a misty graveyard and “this is me saying that I want you to be there for me when John or Jake or whoever crushes me next”. That's life, you guys, girls always pick the wrong dudes, I know, I've been doing that all my life, and good guys are meant to be used as comforters.



Italian vampire judges where interesting. Once again disguised with bad wigs, but at least Aro I definitely recognized. He's an homage to Armand from Interview with the Vampire, so I bet Stephenie Meyer was crushing over Antonio Banderas once. And who wasn't?

I could have lived without Edward reciting Shakespeare, the vampires voting and the lame ass proposal at the end.

And my Twis arrived. There are six of them. They are all perfectly normal and their van has a pumper sticker saying I drive like a Cullen. What does it mean?

Swoon

Fed up with LA

Good morning!

I have been here for two days and I'm so done with this crazy village. I've met up with some ridiculously fake people, heard (and felt) just about every sexual innuendo pick up line there is, both innovative and lame, been offered coke/weed numerous times and last night I was seated next to former A-lister who told me in explicit detail how he likes to satisfy his ladies. 

Worst Bootleg DVD Covers 

So anyway, check out this funny or die list of worst bootleg DVD covers. Yesterday I was sitting at the lobby waiting for my ride as I went through that list laughing like a hyena and when I looked up embarrassed (I'm from Europe) I saw that no-one was paying any attention to me. Probably because I was the least interesting/colorful/weird person there.

 A taco, Pepe?

I'm heading back this afternoon and I'm totally ready for our movie night, girls. And I'm bringing you some eclipse-edward-goodies from the market, Em.

AFM

I'm in LA at the film market. Back on Thursday.

 

I loved Conan on TBS last night. And apparently so did 4 million others. Felt right. Felt like going home, you know, seeing an old friend. Felt good. So my TV is complete again. Great.

Hooray and praise the editors!

We're almost done. I think, I hope, tomorrow we'll have a final meeting with producers and I can start packing and uploading again. But right now I'm gonna go to the spa, then I'm gonna have a filet mignon at The Grape. And then I'm gonna go through my mail that has been really piling up and maybe even read a book.

Emily, Miri and me are having a New Moon night this Thursday. Emily just told us there's some hot honeymoon action going on in Brazil and now she and Miri are watching some blurry youtube videos of people dancing on the street apparently around the happy couple. That's a pretty weird scene, if you ask me. But I have never been honeymooning in Brazil, so maybe it's a custom there, who knows. I swear to you, there is one video uploaded to youtube that is shot sideways, so Em just turned her laptop to the side to watch it.

Its interesting that Miri is so fascinated by this Twilight universe, she is kinda reserved though. She's like this shy little wide-eyed classically trained theater chick who's standing by the window and staring at the parade passing by that consists solely of people painted blue and covered in flashing lights. That's how it looks to me. Her questions are those of the anthropologist studying this new and exciting tribe.

Ok, I'm off to the spa and I hope when I come back Emily and Miri are still these perky (somewhat) normal people and not some disjointed necromaniacs.

Cartoonish

Apparently Superman: Earth One is the no. one on the hardcover comics sales list. This is the one with the EMOman, the dude with burning eyes, the demon. Flying in all gloomy and brooding. These days it looks like that if you want to boost your ratings on TV you better bring in some vampires or reference to twilight, if you are a B lister you have to find a way to mention Mr. Pattinson in all or any of your interviews etc. I sure hope that it will blow over soon, cause not everyone looks good in plaid shirt and sneakers. Yeah, these are some dark times we're living when demon is a superhero and girls are dreaming about undead...

So, anyway...

Its HP screening soon, so I thought I'll shock you by telling that there was a possibility once that we would have had a cartoon Harry. When Spielberg was offered to direct the first movie, he suggested that 2-3 books should be combined and, as Pixar was doing so great at the time, made into a cartoon. Which reminds me, that before Summit picked up Twilight, the first proposed script was really action packed: Bella's father was killed right at the beginning of it, Bella was turned into vampire and was battling alongside the Cullen family with all the evil vampires of the world.

So there are two major franchises that might have gone totally different direction. But didn't. And now everyone who isn't involved is wishing they were, right? ;) 

 

And as for my own little cartoonish sidekick Emily, who's been constantly surveying me for some celeb sightings... Em, honesty, I'll let you read part 2 if you ease up a little? Deal? You're scaring me...